Living in this house makes me feel miserable. I was going to go to philippines as an escape away from home. Because everyday I wake up and I know something bad will happen. I feel like the glue that barely keeps everything together. I feel if I leave something bad will happen and I always think everything is my fault. I am unhappy living in the house. I will not explain my situation clearly but just know I live in a broken home with parent that curses a lot, rude, not religious. And the other is religious, a cheater, plastic, compares me to others, and makes me feel like I don't have any worth, and has told me countless times that I'm stupid, to go kill myself, etc. Since I was little this person also has dropped me on the sidewalk and chase after the car to apologize. Bad parenting I know. If I ever have kids, I'll know how to treat them right knowing what the bad examples are. If you or anyone you know is suffering from suicidal thoughts, depression, anxiety, etc. Please know you are not alone. I experienced these things for a long time. People may not know it unless they ask me, so I try my best not to show it. And if you ever need someone to talk to I am here. And if not there is also the Suicide Prevention Hotline. I've tried it a few times over the years and it was awkward at first but relieving after. Here are some things I do when I am needing to talk to someone or don't have anyone to talk to:
- Singing helps
-Journaling so I don't forget what happened
-Blogging (almost like a journal to me, and helps get my thoughts out)
-YouTube
-Warm baths
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