Can't sleep...

I'm still awake and probably won't be sleeping since I'm thinking to much. I always think too much 😂

Being pushed to my breaking point!

My mom does not understand me. She's says things that upset me and everytime I try to calmly tell her why she just gets mad. I don't know what I'm doing wrong! The hard part about strong and suppressing feelings for so long is that even if I am extremely pissed or sad. Tears don't come out. I feel mentally unstable because of everything that is going on right now. I just want explode and scream or punch something. But I cant. I can't even remember the last time I've ever cried in front of someone. I hate showing my emotions in front of people cause I doNT want them to think I'm annoying or weak. But right now I am at my breaking point where I feel pressured and lost and confused and hurt. I don't know what to think of things anymore. Most of the time I wish I didn't feel anything, and no matter how much I pretend I don't care about things. I do care, but what hurts is that my friends and family don't know. I truly have always hated myself. I still live, but inside I feel dead. I want to feel alive again, but I'm drained but so many things that dissapointed me in this life. I'm just done! I feel like im going to explode all my anger out. And not where anyone can see me...